Things that have made me unhappy (from least to most severe):
1. Very long rides in very uncomfortable cars
2. Mosquitoes at the training center
3. Dermatological maladies (some resulting from the above)
4. General homesickness
5. The prevalence of domestic abuse in my village
This last item has caused me considerable distress on more than one occasion now, partly because it is just pure awful, disgusting, horrible and partly because it throws a wrench into my efforts to be culturally sensitive. My general philosophy when confronting situations that tend to make Westerners cringe (corporal punishment, polygamy, devaluation of girls' education to name a few) is to remind myself that these things have deep roots in a culture that also produces strong moral convictions, close-knit families, and a universal cult of hospitality. I may not like every aspect of this culture, but I can accept most of it by trying to be open-minded and remembering that there are plenty of things I do or value that a Senegalese person would disapprove of. This is the crux of the Cibyl/Nafi divide. As my Senegalese identity (and they are distinct and different already), Nafi deals with everything that is "okay here, not okay back home," most of this stuff being fairly harmless (i.e. living with big bugs, plucking chickens, eating pasta for breakfast). But, Cibyl cannot let Nafi have this one. She just cannot accept that beating one's wife is "okay here, not okay back home" (even though that's what her villagers keep telling her). She believes with every fiber of her being that it is not okay anywhere under any circumstances, it's just Wrong, capital W, period. I know that speaking in absolutes can land you in hot water; with as many moral codes, religions, social norms as exist in this world is there such a thing as right and wrong or is it all subjective? But that's a question for the brain. If you watch a man beat his wife with a bamboo cane while she holds their baby in her arms I bet your heart's reaction will trump anything your brain might have to say on the matter. Sometimes wrong is wrong.
Perhaps the hardest part for me in all of this has been the feeling of helplessness. I don't know yet what I can do and yet I feel like I have to do something. Something, something, something....This job is hard.
And still there is that second list (alxamdulilah) because life here is so sweet so often and really the severity of the bad is outweighed by the abundance of the good, evidenced by the length of list #2.
Things that have made me very happy (in no particular order):
1. Roasted peanuts, fresh off the coals
2. BIG dramatic African thunderstorms
3. Mamadou's wives
4. Unripe mango pounded with salt and pepper and spices
5. Fourth of July in Kedougou (fireworks, pulled pork, American music, pool party)
6. My pink tie-dye dress
7. Cleopatra soap
8. My puppy Tankoo!! (rhymes with Bronco)
9. Tankoo playing with Boubacar the donkey
10. Sweet peaunut rice porridge for dinner
11. Watching my garden grow
12. Being able to make jokes in Mandinka
13. Receiving packages from America
14. Chinese food in Dakar
15. Mandinka family reunions (Nicky, Will, Aziz)
Well Nafi/Cibyl dear daughter. What do I say about the domestic violence? Only that you are right-it is wrong. And yes, it is wrong everywhere and here we are in a so called civilized society in the US and it happens here too. I am glad the list of happy and good things is much longer than the bad stuff. More packages and letters will be coming and we'll try skype calling from Whelan and Michelles August 7. Love you so!
ReplyDeleteCibyl, I was struck with your comments on cultural norms. I have struggled with this issue and changed my position. I read recently that if an act by one person would land them in prison, how is it possible by standards of universal morality to accept that the same practice is agreeable if an entire culture agrees to their norm. The book I read had vivid examples - female circumcision - that argued the case. Though as a guest the slow accepting way of change seems most desirable rather than the black shirt revolutionary change. Always lavish in the positives and proceed with care and caution. Thinking of you, Lloyd
ReplyDeleteKortanante, Nafi,
ReplyDeleteMy name is Kim. I served in the PC in Senegal for 3 years in a Mandinka village 35km north of Koussanar named Daoudi. Beating one's wife is definitely wrong anywhere. It rarely, if ever, happened in my village. I did end up treating a woman from another village because her husband hit her over the head with a stick. Everyone thought it was wrong. I have heard many heated arguments between a man and his wife, but have never seen or heard evidence of an actual beating. I worked in a village health hut(we called it a village pharmacy) for the 3 years I was in Senegal. The man that I trained to work in the pharmacy and I treated many injuries and diseases but none that seemed to come from spousal abuse.
On another note, I have to agree with you on fresh roasted peanuts. I believe that one of the best meals I have ever eaten was caused by having too many unexpected guests at our compound. We had a very light breakfast because of this. We all left breakfast hungry, but we had to go to the field to harvest peanuts. They had already been dug up and were drying in the sun for a few days. My village father, Badi Ndao, told me he was hungry and called me over. He took some of the dried peanut plants with the peanuts still attached, put them in a pile, and lit the dried plants with a match. A roaring fire ensued and when it had gone out and cooled a little, we dug out the roasted peanuts from the ashes of the fire. We were out in the middle of a beautiful, serene forest next to a peanut field feasting on the best peanuts in the world.
Allah ma ila silo diala. May allah make your road sweet.
Kim